The Saga

Here's the whole Saga with D and I from the beginning to this point.

:: He Emailed Me
:: Email To D & From D
:: D's Nails
:: There They Go Again
:: Slapped Upside the Head
:: Email to D About 4-2-03
:: The Saga Continues
:: Here It Goes Again
:: Why It Always Gotta Be Me?
:: It Ain't Right
:: My Feet Are Pointed Straight
:: Frustration & Them Thangs

Here is some poetry that is related to the whole saga.

:: Hypnotic Spell
:: Thoughts Back
:: A Brief Moment
:: The Spell Is Gone
:: Spiraling Down

Frustration & Them Thangs

I still want to talk to Mama I about the added things to this saga. I like talking to her and Mama S. Although most of the time with both of them, the end up telling me about their issues. I have nearly given up trying to find a listener like me to talk to. I am probably one of a very few people who can listen without discussing my issues and dispensing unrequested advice. Jerry always dispenses advice unrequested, all the time; so for me, he is a last, very last resort. He gives good advice, but you haven't asked for it most of the time.

********************

I think Mama M is po-ed at me. She said some things in an email, some harsh things. I responded back harshly. I was having a rough day and I didn't like what she said and the way she said it. I felt the need to say how I felt. She responded back and told me to get a life, in those words.

She told Jerry about it and showed him the emails. Jerry, who goes off on whoever is standing in front of him at the time, tells me that I should not have responded in the manner that I did. Oh well, Mama M is po-ed at me. At this moment, I really don't care either.

I was trying to let Mama M be my confidant because she is sweet and touchy feely, but I always end up back to Mama I and Mama S. Mama S says that I think I want that sweet, touchy feely love, but what I really want is some tough, tell it like it is love. She might be right because both Mama S and Mama I have the same exact personality type.

Lord, have mercy on me.

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Why does Jerry have me passing notes from Mama M to Papa W. Jerry has his number and he can make a phone call. I ain't his secretary!

My Feet Are Pointed Straight

Last night during Bishop's exhortations at church, Bishop hit my toes, my legs, and my arm. He began talking about having to apologize when you don't feel that you did anything wrong. Then he said that sometimes, you have to make sure that you are right, so that your heart and conscious will be clear.

All I could say was, "Yes, Lord!"

After service, I apologized to N. Now, My feet are pointed in a straight path!

It Ain't Right

I have been thinking about my having to apologize to N. Part of me feels that it is necessary. The other part of me is like nig- PLEASE. Why I gotta apologize. I ain't done nothing.

It just don't seem fair, but as my mama so elegantly put it… "I want my feet pointed in a straight path!"

I wonder where she got that from.

Why It Always Gotta Be Me?

Jerry, Mama I, and I went to On the Border. It was enjoyable and fun. We did the usual routine, talked, etc. As we were driving home, Jerry and I began discussing life, etc. We got on the subject of D. I opened my mouth and said that I had probably flirted with D in front of N, unknowingly. Jerry said that I needed to apologize to her. Then Jerry said that God told him to tell me
to apologize.